I Married a Dentist

by Dr. Widick's Lesser Half

I should have known, early on, what it would be like to marry a dentist.

Sometime in ‘86 or ‘87, I think, the writing was on the wall. The doctor-to-be and I were traveling. I stopped for gas and, after paying, came out to find Susan clandestinely flossing her teeth in my pride-and-joy 1982 Mustang. Since I was still courting her, I said nothing ... even two weeks later when, cleaning the inside of my car, I found a long string of green flossy stuff secretly tucked between the passenger seat and the console.

I should have known.

Nonetheless, I continued courting. Little did I know about all the difficult classes she would have as an undergrad. (By the way, why does someone have to learn to dissect sharks and mice and cats and stuff to be a dentist?) Anyway, Susan came out of every Bio 1154 and Anatomy 5000 test crying, knowing she failed. Meanwhile, I was emerging from every Underwater Basket Weaving 101 test knowing I had at least an A+ under my belt. (Of course, she got all the A's and I did all the failing, but that's another story.)

I should have known, but I kept on courting.

Then, just when we about had the undergrad work complete, along came the dental school entrance exams. You thought watching her prepare for Bio 1154 was hard? It was nothing like these entrance exams. We studied and cried and worried (ok, she studied and cried and I went to football games, but I worried while I was there). But we made it through those as well.

I should have known, but I guess I was in too deep by now.

Somewhere along the line -- I guess the first year of dental school -- we got engaged. A couple years later, still not having learned anything, we went ahead and married. If she can just get out of dental school, I thought, the tough part will be over.

I should have known.

Once she got out of school, the student loan bills started rolling in. I don't know who Sallie Mae is, but with all the money we send her, she's certainly tooling around somewhere in the largest automobile Mercedes Benz makes. Then, as Susan's business has grown, the need to expand has twice presented itself. The first time, Susan leased a place where a lot of work was needed. Of course, all the interior decorating was done ourselves. If you know me, you know that Mr. Saw and Mr. Hammer and I don't get along. But we managed. (Actually, I managed, and Susan did all the work, but that's another story.) The first time wasn't hard enough, so the second time we bought a building where a lot of work was needed. If you ever hear Susan saying she may be moving again, please call me immediately.

So here we are. I should have known. But I guess you live and learn. Now I'm sitting here late at night, pecking away at the keyboard, helping design a website. Now, everyone knows me only as Dr. Widick's husband. Poor, poor me. I should have known what it would be like to marry a dentist.

Come to think of it though, I guess it isn't all bad. I get free dental work. I get to go to the office and take out the trash. I get to shovel snow in the winter, and weed eat the grass in the summer, maintain the computer system on weekends. Most of all, though, I get to spend everyday with the best dentist, wife and mother in the world. When it's all said and done, I guess that's what I should have known all along.